Live The Life

by Philo Reitzel

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1.
Woke up this morning and realized that I don’t know nothing Ain’t got no ibuprofen fuck it take a shot of bourbon I been swerving mo and mo and my goals get mo uncertain I been so depressed all I can do is sleep close my curtains I go out with the homies after a day of workin We pop a pill and snort a gram and females get to twerkin I been goin ham mo and mo I’m not sure what happened I quit my job cuz I was too turnt now I’m only trappin We throwin house parties every other night it’s crackin And if I didn’t have a habit I know I’d be stackin Fuck it, chop out another one for me and my brotha Bring a bottle over turnin up so don’t interrupt us We gone die anyway so I’d rather go buzzin The homie died the other day so for him we po up another’n Why do we live this way because life is nothing but pain And if I had it to do over I’m sure I’d live it the same We live the life we don’t wonder why Take our chances under the sky Fleeting dances with we die Six feet under we’re not surprised pistol in the glovebox, always thinkin fuck cops cuz I’m always breakin the law bitch ridin in the back need a subox but she ain’t finna to detox we only keep her round for her jaw, can you feel me I been livin reckless just like you Snortin powder skippin breakfast now I’m on day 2 Dare message it effected us like opposite day Told me walk the straight and narrow went the opposite way The homie next to me skinny like a scarecrow And he don’t care no mo We ridin hella dirty seven thirty sellin mo blow Am or pm it don’t make a difference I’m feelin paranoid and I see johnny in the distance Bend the corner pull over duck in the corner bar I do housecalls mane I ain’t no corner star And I been going too hard and I been doin too much And every mufucka in this verse cept me got touched We live the life we don’t wonder why Take our chances under the sky Fleeting dances with we die Six feet under we’re not surprised
2.
Sun gonna shine I’m a wake it up Mountains to climb I’m a make it up my my Makin my take and I’m cakin up Falcon a flyer falcon a flyer Dare to be different This might be our only earthly visit go and get it Push limits Live it cuz I love it, say it cuz I meant it "I'm" a true love potion a big bang explosion a tidal wave in motion a whole entire ocean Although I feel the fire encroaching I feel no fear as I feel the winds of change blowing I feel that I'm no longer afraid to feel emotion I feel the fire forging the steel I feel potent I feel hope, I feel the scope of it all I won't fall this moment I'm so tall The stars made eyes to you and I we saw to the end of the milky way All is intended today Everything in the galaxy is an infinite ray mortality's intricate ways are a simple display Sun gonna shine I’m a wake it up Mountains to climb I’m a make it up my my Makin my take and I’m cakin up Falcon a flyer falcon a flyer Am I afraid of dying? Nah never mane I seen the drama in this game we return from where we came Am I afraid of flying? Ahh, I’d like to say not But I been eyein the top and it’s a hell of a drop I put in nearly everything that I got What if I lose I’ll be destitute abandoned to rot In the back of a bando without a pisspot Or reshackled into the system three hots and a cot Relegated to oblivion as the pendulum swings But I got move forward can’t be chained by change Can’t stifled by idleness no man is an island If I don’t make it to dry land first I gotta try again If I don’t end up dying of thirst I gotta lend A waterskin to my family and friends so we can work put in work what’s point in trying to score If we only putting points up on the board what we really working for?
3.
So many situations that sneak up behind us here to remind us That time is indifferent about us and won’t reminisce when we’re up and outta here no matter if we viewed ourself as the catalyst or let it flow around us no amount of knowledge that I know or gain can ever stop the growing change around me I’m constantly feelin growing pains holding onto to older ways like stones in the river my stationary body causes waves it’s cold and I shiver a form of movement, am I ever congruent harness what is electric how did Edison do it was it even for the better or form disastrous movements the general view is what causes cash to accrue is an improvement I must politely disagree But only from a bird’s eye view and not for me We don’t live in trees build nests or have a hive mind And when I gotta go I’m pretty sure it’s only my time So who the fuck do you think you are? Somebody special In the newest model car flexin diamonds in ya bezel Climbin up a level but our past it’s hard to shed it I spend my cash as soon as I get it And didn’t know what a credit score was till I was 25 Moved to the Sco and found it hard to survive Could only rent in the ghetto it’s hard to stay alive So many let go before they hit their prime Time out crossin the hall serraños beatin fools in In my apartment building that was job recruitment And it might shock you like electrocution If it is not an environment that you are used to maneuvering in I’m boozing in the morning tootin in the evening And I can’t make sense of all the views that I’m seeing Now at the time I didn’t realize it affected you and me in Ways our unprotected minds we’d have to deal with it in future days Thought I was desensitized but it was internalized I tried to burn my mind cuz I couldn’t turn my eyes Now I’m living in a nice place And I know they can’t relate I see the judgement in they face And I feel like I don’t deserve to be here Feel like I’m screaming and nobody hears Or even worse they do and nobody cares Cuz these squares don’t feel I deserve to be here **hook** (MOTHER HOOD) I CAPTURE LIGHNTNING RIGHT INSIDE MY MIND KEEP ME SHINING WHEN THE WORLD IS BLIND MY TWO FEET THEY KEEP ME RIGHT ON TIME WALK RIGHT BY YOU AND I’M FEELIN FINE How are you feeling then It’s a different era that we’re livin in The measure of collective stress has risen as the covid tests are given And I got a feeling we’ll never go back to old traditions when The level of the existential threats grip your chest Leave you short of breath (breath) I won’t even lie, I been losing sleep at night Thinkin bout who’s gonna die We oversized, now the earth ain’t on our side As we feel the sickle slice to cull the herd check your pantry We oversized, now the earth ain’t on our side As we feel the sickle slice to cull the herd can you feel me We oversized, now the earth ain’t on our side As we feel the sickle slice now the earth ain’t on our side Lightning bright inside and it flashes as it catches fire Burning in a beautiful blaze of my desire **hook (MOTHER HOOD) I CAPTURE LIGHNTNING RIGHT INSIDE MY MIND KEEP ME SHINING WHEN THE WORLD IS BLIND MY TWO FEET THEY KEEP ME RIGHT ON TIME WALK RIGHT BY YOU AND I’M FEELIN FINE KEEP IT DECENT IF YOU WANT ME TO KEEP COMPLACENT I KNOW HOW YOU DO TALK THAT SHIT IT ONLY FUEL THE FIRE MY MIND OPEN YOU STEP RIGHT INSIDE
4.
Cry A River 03:27
I see how you move, thinkin we can be fooled Sneak dissin but pretendin it’s cool I paid attention in school I learned how to read books and feel moods Slimy presence presents itself as real smooth People pandering to those they think they appeal to ulterior motives thinly coated and see through easily decoded by the code that we keep true I live the kind of life I can sleep to, don’t need to Put on airs, hoping somebody cares If you need to impress em when you need em nobody’s there I been taught a lot by the products of consumer culture Anything of substance just gets ate by the newest vulture Pick your bones clean remodel condos from your sepulcher Collab with Supreme drop a t shirt to show they love ya Diluted memories for the highest bidder All we seem to value is the highest figure Cry a river, it’s a deluge Of people so delusional it’s like they’re poppin qualudes They do, and I do, and you do, and why do We lie to ourselves, We love being lied to. Peace out wsup Peace out, wsup Oh hello (hello) if you didn’t then now you know Predictive text shaping your thoughts still you think it’s original Everybody feel like the finta be next to blow Talkin bout their ice and that girl with the melted snow Borders between music and life US Mexico Going back and forth so much the truth nobody know Lack of transparency apparently status quo Making it appear from thin air a magic show Judges gavel hit you with years, a tragic blow Oh NOW you tellin, you ain’t a gangsta no mo? It’s fun to play on the IG but when you get hit in the head Layin in the hospital bed with an IV Cry me a river, it’s a deluge Of people so delusional it’s like they’re poppin qualudes They do, and I do, and you do, and why do We lie to ourselves? We love being lied to. Goodbye everybody, I’ve got to go away (go away, go away, go away) those who really listened to me the only ones that knew me anyway and I’m out!
5.
How does it feel to sink to the bottom give up and stop tryin My options are all exhausted I’m tired of constantly fightin I’m sinkin, afloat in the ocean without a beacon And my lifeboat is leakin and I don’t think I’ll be reachin I’m sinkin, deeper down I can’t see the surface now Can’t see the purpose how will I reverse this I self medicate, tryin to fix the problems inside and I think I’m over prescribing to hide from the skin that I’m in Sinkin, I climb the ladder on my fire escape But that can’t even break the water’s surface This lake makes me nervous, I’m wondering if I can touch the bottom And live to tell the tale before I exhale all my oxygen I’m Sinkin, hard to swim with your eyes open some friends stopped blinkin preferred to permanently close em sinkin, it seems as if the top has frozen over the temperature’s droppin, getting colder I scream for help, no one hears me through the chunk of ice Fuck my life, all it was ever worth was nothing nice I based it more on rolls of dice than solid plans The vultures in the night are not your mans Love is not measured in grams but it feels like it Makes sense feel type a ways when cake comes and weighs in Real psychic I can predict my next Move until they run out when there’s no time left
6.
I guess you’re probably wondering why I ghosted out I had to step off the train I would’ve just continued coastin the route Ironically, me wants me dead And me was in love with the games that you played with me head Shit.. stuck out on a limb Had to jump ship if I hit water I can swim put you through a lot of fuck shit you did the same to me I don’t think I can pretend to be the friend I claim to be What’s to gain Too much bad blood shed between us and circled down the drain Hurt so much, cursed in the rain Was I even in love with you or just in love with the pain Hard to say, it’s so hard to say And when these feelings get involved the truth slips away Like my grip slipped away and I almost died tryin Blamed it all on you but I wasn’t holdin up my end While I can see that, and rationalize That we should be able to be friends my heart won’t abide The part that died, the spark that lit and burned me inside Current events start to make sense I’m turning the tide I’m just trying to do well by myself You’re part of a chapter in my life that’s best left closed on the shelf I’ll say I wish you all the happiness and possibly I do But even if it’s not true This one’s for you. I distinctly remember you saying you didn’t care And that you probably won’t make it another year Hard to hear it for real cuz we were drinkin and snortin Trying to ignore the real shit and make pettiness important Never moving forward, only droppin deeper Chucklin to hide a tear and brushin with the reaper I remember when I first got cleaner You told me you were so proud of me, doing what you dream of We love and lose Sometimes it bruise our heart so hard it’s hard to stand in our shoes We accrue hurt, move and abuse work Anything to avoid the truth the fuckin truth hurts Hide behind a line intoxicated state of mind jaded mind faded all the time I hate it and the only way some of us escape it is when you’re found by your homie in the bedroom or the basement your kid ain’t got a father to play wit I swear I won’t get stuck doing the same shit And we won’t leave out with most of the friends we came with I won’t repeat out the cycle it’s too dangerous Anguish can get a grip on us and taint our soul Flip the script on us so all we feel is pain and cold I’m a break the mold, I’m a see it through I’m sorry that you gone This one’s for you. LP. JR.
7.
No Quarter 03:29
I’m getting older so hopefully I’ll be getting wiser the world felt cold to me found myself compulsively feeding fires I imagined there was a map to the prize I had to open my eyes up nothing in life is clearly defined I try to keep my curiosity maintain an open mind I’m still searchin for my purpose tryna keep the hope alive But anyway, I simplify, take it day by day Everybody getting high until they take it away I miss my homie JR, he reminded me of LQ He wasn’t my closest friend, but he was someone I knew I used to want to be famous, now I don’t have a clue Of what my goal or my aim is the changes we go through Oh lord, trying to hold my head above water Tell the devil he gets no quarter Can’t even follow the doctor’s orders Cuz he’s supported by opioids Everyone is sponsored By the seven headed headless monster always in our pockets From the doctors to the lawyers to the popstar politicians No one makes their own decisions anymore it’s all derivative Of what they thought the others did before them that brought profit It’s a runaway steamroller how are we to stop it The best most manage to do is divert blame and say I’m not it, PLEASE don’t let me do the same trapped inside of my mind, like it’s the place to be trying to make the most of this time, it slips away from me I’m searchin for forgiveness For myself first gotta get my self worth up Years of doin hella dirt sellin work snortin work fucked me up Watchin people that I loved getting murked getting cuffed Get betrayed by the person that I trust On a highway to my grave and it’s feelin hella rushed Never say it never discuss Trappin to support a habit d boy magick in the dust Pills crushed like my spirit outta touch Getting money outta bitches breakin hearts and burnin bridges Tunnel vision I can’t see, take me out my misery Between white girl and the whiskey I’m burnin thru currency And I always gotta have more I can’t be alone with me Trapped I self medicate no escape I have no time Trapped I can’t get away Medicate I have no time
8.
Can’t worry bout what the others will say about me They doubt themselves so they doubt me through the word of mouth I’m more concerned how the crowds scream when I turn em out My six eight Mali is a sleeper I’m burnin out My love is deeper than words the fakers say to me My advice to you, don’t live a life of complacency Lower the latency, we can entertain But I’d prefer that you acknowledge I have a brain Used to the best of my abilities request you do the same And let’s counteract the misery and put em up on game I’m a cold piece of work with a solid chain Collectin knowledge, flushing garbage down the drain Had enough pain for forever I’m on some upward mobility, exploring new endeavors Whichever test you decide to address I wish you all success and all the best I wish you all success and all the best, give me a call up if you're feeling hard up, life is too short to live with your face balled up I wish you all success and all the best in all you do. I wish you all success and all the best, We gotta use what we got or we convalesce Entropy builds as the problems are not addressed Having discussions with my lawyer the topic was my arrest (damn.) Nothing is promised, Want somebody’s critique they’re rarely honest Hard to keep your business out the street and untarnished You’ll get run through the ringer for bringin unique responses Starships and rockets, head amongst the comets If you gotta read the news I wouldn’t scroll down to the comments Vomit, it’s hard to swallow this tonic The trolls get their tolls, propagating nonsense I’m trying to up the level of the content Refuse to stay silent not the Devil In A Convent I’m better honest a veteran of hardships Wanna lend a helping hand to help us all accomplish

about

This album is a non linear artistic representation of my downward spiral of substance abuse and hard living, complete with the journey to the other side via recovery. The songs are written from the perspective of the state of mind I was in at whatever time in my life they represent, so if I sound like a callous misanthrope at any point in this album, it is because I was. I am grateful to be here with you all today.

credits

released April 17, 2020

Written, produced, and engineered by Philo Reitzel, with additional co-production and engineering by Linus. All lyrics by Philo Reitzel, except where indicated by features. Guitar on "This One's For You" by Travis Michaels. Mastered by Philo Reitzel. Album art by Linus.

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Philo Reitzel Asheville, North Carolina

Philo Reitzel raps, makes beats, videos, and illustrations. He currently splits his time between southern Mexico & the woods outside of Asheville, NC. For a time he lived in The Tenderloin, San Francisco, pre-tech-bro boom, performing at such venues as Club 6, The Fillmore, and Elbo Room. He drops a new song & video each week for his Freestyle Friday series on IG/YouTube/fb. ... more

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