This Ones For You

from Live The Life by Philo Reitzel

lyrics

I guess you’re probably wondering why I ghosted out
I had to step off the train I would’ve just continued coastin the route
Ironically, me wants me dead
And me was in love with the games that you played with me head
Shit.. stuck out on a limb
Had to jump ship if I hit water I can swim
put you through a lot of fuck shit you did the same to me
I don’t think I can pretend to be the friend I claim to be
What’s to gain
Too much bad blood shed between us and circled down the drain
Hurt so much, cursed in the rain
Was I even in love with you or just in love with the pain
Hard to say, it’s so hard to say
And when these feelings get involved the truth slips away
Like my grip slipped away and I almost died tryin
Blamed it all on you but I wasn’t holdin up my end
While I can see that, and rationalize
That we should be able to be friends my heart won’t abide
The part that died, the spark that lit and burned me inside
Current events start to make sense I’m turning the tide
I’m just trying to do well by myself
You’re part of a chapter in my life that’s best left closed on the shelf
I’ll say I wish you all the happiness and possibly I do
But even if it’s not true
This one’s for you.

I distinctly remember you saying you didn’t care
And that you probably won’t make it another year
Hard to hear it for real cuz we were drinkin and snortin
Trying to ignore the real shit and make pettiness important
Never moving forward, only droppin deeper
Chucklin to hide a tear and brushin with the reaper
I remember when I first got cleaner
You told me you were so proud of me, doing what you dream of
We love and lose
Sometimes it bruise our heart so hard it’s hard to stand in our shoes
We accrue hurt, move and abuse work
Anything to avoid the truth the fuckin truth hurts
Hide behind a line intoxicated state of mind
jaded mind faded all the time I hate it
and the only way some of us escape it
is when you’re found by your homie in the bedroom or the basement
your kid ain’t got a father to play wit
I swear I won’t get stuck doing the same shit
And we won’t leave out with most of the friends we came with
I won’t repeat out the cycle it’s too dangerous
Anguish can get a grip on us and taint our soul
Flip the script on us so all we feel is pain and cold
I’m a break the mold, I’m a see it through
I’m sorry that you gone
This one’s for you.


LP. JR.

credits

from Live The Life, released April 17, 2020
production by Philo. guitar by Travis Michaels.

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about

Philo Reitzel Asheville, North Carolina

Philo Reitzel raps, makes beats, videos, and illustrations. He currently splits his time between southern Mexico & the woods outside of Asheville, NC. For a time he lived in The Tenderloin, San Francisco, pre-tech-bro boom, performing at such venues as Club 6, The Fillmore, and Elbo Room. He drops a new song & video each week for his Freestyle Friday series on IG/YouTube/fb. ... more

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